A refresher course on how to have sex right

Here's a guide to help you decipher that sexual code; a step-by-step guide on how to have sex right whether you are a pro (which makes this a refresher course) or you are a virgin (which makes this a starter pack).

A refresher course on how to have sex right

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Sex is good but if you have been with someone for long, or just trying to lose your virginity, you might take the process for granted and take the sweetness out of it. Here is how to get the best out sex.

A refresher course on how to have sex right

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Step #1: It's always good to make sure that both of you want to get some action: If it is just you that wants and your partner does not, the entire process could turn sour, not to mention the fact that it can leave you or your partner with a sense of being violated or used. Many people don't like to say that they need sex but there will be indicators. If the person seems keen on being with you physically, touches you or increases his/her proximity to you, maybe that is a sign that they are ready.

Step #2: Be prepared: Sex is a wonderful thing. It is pleasurable and makes you feel happy. It also has a number of other health benefits like helping you burn calories and beating depression. But it also comes with problems like unwanted pregnancies, STDs and emotional setbacks. These are what you need to anticipate and be prepared for what you want and avoid what you don't. So carry a condom, have that postinor at hand and be mentally ready.

A refresher course on how to have sex right

Step #3: Set the mood: Sex is an intimate act, at least it should be. So pick a spot that will put both of you in a perfect mood, especially if it is your first time. Mood lighting always helps the cause. Pleasure does come at a cost.

Step #4: Do not seem too desperate: Coming on too strongly or being pushy about having sex is one of the biggest turn-offs. So don't seem desperate (even if you are dying to be with the person), allow the other person some space to express their feelings as well.

Step #5: Kiss and caress: The first step towards physical intimacy is kissing. Most women love to kiss and a passionate kiss can definitely put her in the mood for some more. Moreover being close, kissing, touching and caressing your partner helps stimulate their erogenous zones which will lead to more pleasurable sex. This is called foreplay. Make it as long as possible. Until they beg you to do it.

A refresher course on how to have sex right

Step# 6: Undressing can turn into some serious foreplay: When it comes to foreplay, most people think that sex is only penetrative. But the act does include foreplay. This is where you can either choose to remove your clothes or have your partner undress you. Another way to go about it is to remove one piece of clothing at a time, making the entire process a mystery.

Step#7: Pick the right moment: The right moment to have penetrative sex is usually felt and is often mutual. Pick the moment when your partner really wants to move on to the next step. In some cases asking if the other person is ready or if he/she wants more is a good way to know when it is time.

Step #8: Insertion: This is the most overhyped part about sex and is often believed to be the only thing that happens during it. But there is nothing further from the truth. Tip for men: Know where the hole is before time. Holding your penis while looking for where to put it is embarrassing and it might put her off. A good way to find the vagina without being embarrassed is to ask your partner to help you put it in.

A refresher course on how to have sex right

Step#9: Lovemaking: Once the initial penetration is complete, you can choose to have sex however you both are comfortable. Men, make sure you thrust in rhythmic motions and do it from the hips; this will ensure your woman gets the maximum pleasure. Moving your entire body is counterproductive. Tip for women: Be proactive in bed. Move when your man moves. Match his rhythm.

Step #10: Last few moments: Once you both have climaxed or the sex is about to get over, you both will most probably be in a state of elation. Allow yourselves to be in that state for as long as you need to be. Remember this is the phase where you can choose to hold each other or simply be next to each other. Some men tend to be tempted to want to get off the bed immediately after. Don't move. Women hate that.

Step #11: Winding up: The post coital part can be lovely in some cases and awkward in others. So try to make your partner comfortable. Give him/her a t-shirt to wear, flirt a little and tell him/her how good the experience was. Smile and share a laugh together. This could be the best time to make a good friend or a partner for life.

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